Tomorrow

So, it's Thursday. I have my very first appointment tomorrow, where they take some measurements, give us information, and have a chat with the team that will advise us on which operation that they recommend. Or programme..? I am not even sure that they always recommend an operation. 

We have to bring a questionnaire about our weight in our adult life, a food log for one week to see how we eat, and a list of diets that we have tried, with the results achieved etc. My food log is full of comfort foods... I had a bad week, and I gained a kilo during that week, so I'm not feeling super confident about it. If they ask if that is my normal diet I can't really say no, but at the same time it IS a normal week when things are not going great. So, I suppose I am more worried that they'll just say "ok, then just stop eating chocolate and problem solved." Because that would not really be a solution to me that I could stick to. I DO have regular therapy sessions, so if it were that easy to fix things that come up in life then I shouldn't even be this fat to begin with. Right? Not totally confident about that.

Out exploring playgrounds with the little one. I'm the blob. He's the cute midget. 

It's odd how pictures taken by others are the worst.. where you have no chance to prepare, get yourself into the right angle, or cut out the parts you want to hide. All in full view. In unflattering poses, which you have the feeling that other people never really struggle with. I've also had good times, being lighter, and liking what I saw in the photos. So the longing for those times is real. But right now getting back to that state feels like having to climb an ice covered mountain while naked.